Bob the Sad Sausage

October 7th, 2004


Bob is a very sad sausage. He is sad because the people that bought him off E-Bay are going to eat him tomorrow. But since he doesn't want to be eaten, he is going to run away. He takes a napkin and makes a cloak out of it. He wants to look cool on his journey. He then sets out on his journey. But first he must get out of the house. So he jumps off the counter, hops to the door, and goes through the cat door. Finally! He is outside and at the beginning of his journey to the land of Sausages, Sausatopia, where there will be no people to try and cook him, just Sausages. So he heads into the city.

"No!" shouted Bob as he witnessed a gruesome murder. Someone was eating a hotdog! He didn't know the hotdog, but he was sure he would have had they both made it to Sausatopia. He wanted to do something, but since he couldn't, he hopped on. Next, he came upon a dog eating sausage links! The horror! He went behind a box and wept. Those were some of his brothers and sisters: Frank the Depressed Sausage, Sara the Hyper Sausage, Tom the Bored Sausage, and Katie the Angry Sausage. They were all dead! He was so sad, but he must go on! So he went on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, until he had to stop. He had to stop because he was tired. So he slept, in a box.

"Where am I? How did I get here?" then he remembered the day before. All that he had seen and heard. So he left at a faster pace to get to Sausatopia. He didn't want to suffer the same fate as Frank, Sara, Tom, and Katie. He had to get there soon. Time was running out. The owners would soon be awake and notice that their sausage was missing and come looking for him. He had to hurry. So he did. He went so fast that by noon he was already in Bacolaria, land of the Bacon. He had a friend Bacon there and went to visit him before setting out once again on his journey. With Sausatopia in sight, he was almost there when suddenly the ground was getting farther and farther away. He had been caught. He looked around and saw some giant steak guards. He had been caught by the Steaks. For hundreds of years, the Steaks and Sausages had been at war with each other, but just a few years ago they suddenly stopped. Nobody knew why, all they knew was that the Steaks and the Sausages were at peace. Or so they thought. Bob was being taken to the ancient city of Steaktown, where Fred, the king of the Steaks, presided. He was scared. He had a steak friend, but he wouldn't be able to help him much without betraying the Steaks. So he was pretty much screwed. "Help! Help me! The Steaks have caught me! Help me, Jeff!" screamed Bob. When Jeff heard the screams of his friend, he immediately called the sausage king, Joe, and told him what was going on. He was a good friend of Bob and wanted to help him at all costs. So he told all the Sausages that they were going to go and save Bob. But in order to do so, they were going to have to go to war with the Steaks again. Though the prospect of having to go to war with the somewhat lowered their morale, they knew it was for a good cause: to save their good friend Bob. So off to Steaktown they went.